The Listies totally serious 100% fact filled guide to the Melbourne Museum
The Listies take you on a LOLtastic tour of Melbourne Museum to see shark dentists, dinosaur salesmen and the insect Oscars!
Rich (the smart one) and Matt (the other one) welcome you as they venture forth to discover the secrets of the Learnadome (what Matt calls the Museum). At all the stops on the way encounter the bizarre, the interesting, the ridiculous and funny side to Melbourne Museum in this surreal and hilarious audio guide.
This guide is suitable for humans aged 5 to 500 million (dinosaurs allowed). Most hilarious for children aged 6–12 and their adults!
To do this tour you will need your own headphones and device. It takes about an hour to do walking around the museum or you can listen along at home or on the way.
Use our handy map and the pictures on this page to hunt for the next stop, then press play or listen completely out of order for a hilarious tour – both is ok. Please take as long as you like and enjoy yourself! It is totally fine to get distracted by other cool stuff along the way.
Just one last piece of advice: please don’t actually eat the plants.
The map
Find your stop number below. Printed maps available at the ticket desk!
Stop 1: Welcome to the Learnadome
Head to the Blue Whale display just to the left of the entrance on the ground floor.
The Blue Whale skeleton is your first stop!
"The bones are on display so we can see how animals are put together, to see how their skeleton differs from our own. So we can observe evolution, experience the size and heft of another creature, so we can learn." – Rich (the smart one)
Stop 2: Dean’s Dino Warehouse
You will find Dinosaur Walk just next to the whale’s tail.
Next stop Dinosaur Walk. Can't miss it!
Don't panic! Skeletons only during this walk.
Protoceratops – a relative of the much larger, three-horned Triceratops.
Stop 3: The Buggies
After you finish Dinosaur Walk head into the Bugs Alive! exhibition.
Third stop: the Bugs Alive! exhibition.
We're here... are you?
The Bogong Moth can be found in urban areas, forests and woodlands of southern Australia.
The Murray Banded Huntsman. "Not all spiders use their silk to make webs. Huntsmans use their silk to secure themselves and construct egg cases." – The Moth
Stop 4: Hearts of stone with Dr Sandy Stone
When you come out of Marine Life head back towards the whale but turn right before you get there and go into Dynamic Earth.
The entrance to "The Rock Room", also known as Dynamic Earth.
A block of sandstone found in Victoria. Occasionally host of the popular show Touching Hearts of Stone.
The pink specimen in the middle is an example of calcite (calcium carbonate), the principal mineral component of limestone.
Stop 5a and 5b: Megafauna
Cross over Dinosaur Walk and enter 600 Million Years for part A, then head out towards the whale and walk to the other end of the museum to find Bunjilaka Aboriginal Cultural Centre – First Peoples Gallery for part B.
Part A: check out the Diprotodon display at the entrance of 600 Million Years. Diprotodon was one of the biggest marsupials ever. It was a giant koala that roamed Australia 40,000 years ago.
Part B: Find the Diprotodon display in the Our Story section of the First Peoples exhibition in the Bunjilaka Aboriginal Cultural Centre. It's to the left as you enter First Peoples, past the language map and up the small stairs.
Check out the upper incisor (tooth) of a Diprotodon, featuring possible human markings! This may be evidence of the coexistence of megafauna and aboriginal people in Australia. Megafauna existed from approximately 1.6 million years ago until extinction some 46,000 years ago.
Stop 6: Dinner Outdoors
Exit the First Peoples Gallery and turn left. Go through the glass doors and you will find Milarri Garden. If these doors are locked then you can also head out of the top doors from the Forest Gallery and follow the walkway to your right to the top of Milarri Garden.
Welcome to Milarri Garden. Milarri means 'outdoors' in the Boon Wurrung and Woi wurrung languages. The plants in Milarri are mostly indigenous Victorian plants significant to the Aboriginal people of south-eastern Australia.
The pink fruits of the Lilly Pilly.
If you happen to visit Milarri Garden at 1.45pm... stay and watch a writhing mass of hungry eels gobble up their lunch!
Stop 7: Better Homes and Bowers
When in Milarri Garden, follow the path around the top of the garden and head along the walkway to the top doors and into the Forest Gallery. The Bowerbird nest is just next to the old brick chimney.
And this is the Forest Gallery – a piece of Victoria's mountain landscape complete with tall eucalypts, ferns, rare plants and wildlife. Sorry, no unicorns.
We found the Bower! Remember: look for the BLUE THINGS!!
Look out for the Satin Bowerbird around the Forest Gallery!
A younger male Satin Bowerbird in its bower, surrounded by BLUE THINGS!
Stop 8: Seven seasons in one day
Explore the rest of the Forest Gallery while you listen.
Just like a real forest, the Forest Gallery changes through the seasons as birds nest, flowers bloom, fungi fruit and berries ripen.
Maroonhood, a species of orchid.
You might see (or hear) a Growling Grass frog on your travels!
Aboriginal people of the Kulin nations recognised seven seasons by the life cycles of plants and animals; you can find a reconstruction of their seasons along the Forest Gallery path. Which season are you in right now?
Stop 9: The Melbourne Room
Head up to the first floor and make your way into Melbourne Story. Find the Little Lon house at the back of the gallery and check under the beds for the bedpan.
As you enter the Melbourne Gallery, you'll see the famous race horse Phar Lap.
Jump in for a ride on The Luna Park Big Dipper!
This horse-drawn, 17-passenger stage coach is believed to have been built in about 1880 and used to carry Melbourne's mail.
You'll find the toilet in the Little Lon house at the back of the gallery. Check under the beds!
Thanks for listening!
See you next time...
Come back soon my friend!
Credits Written, Devised and Performed by Richard Higgins & Matt Kelly Sound Designer and Mixer: Andrew Callaghan Recording Engineer: Ryan Ritchie Executive Producer/ Company Manager: Vanessa Rouse Listies photographs: Andrew Wuttke
The Listies totally serious 100% fact filled guide to the Melbourne Museum is supported by the City of Melbourne Arts Grants Program.
Museums Victoria acknowledges the Wurundjeri Woi Wurrung and Boon Wurrung Bunurong peoples of the eastern Kulin Nations where we work, and First Peoples across Victoria and Australia.
First Peoples are advised that this site may contain voices, images, and names of people now passed and content of cultural significance.
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